Most of my childhood I experienced physical and emotional abuse at home.
At age 5 several teenage boys horrifically tied me up to rafters, then gagged, raped and heartlessly left me in a burning garage.
At age 11 neighborhood kids brutally stripped me in a game they called 'Strip or Sing', a game (needless to say) I never won.
At age 13 a teenage boy chased, pinned down and raped me in the bathroom of my home when I caught him engaged in sexual acts with others.
At age 14 a high school custodial manager sexually abused me; followed by a series of furious threats and mental torture by his wife and members of the community.
At age 26 two men held me by at gunpoint, while trying to carjack me, then sexually abused me.
These are some experiences that gravely affected my ability to feel confident in myself and my life, to take action on my own behalf, and have relationships that are fulfilling. I have a deep need for other people yet I also have an extreme fear of intimacy. Certain situations in my present can immediately trigger memories of these traumas and make it next to impossible to let go of the pain.
I tried to find help through my traumas with pastors, therapists, family, friends and self-help books. But no matter what kind of help I tried to seek I was met with misunderstanding or advice that was of no help to me at all. In the midst of trying to find help and not getting it while dealing with all of this trauma...I'd try to function in my life as best as I can.
The cumulative struggle and pain of all my traumatic events finally came to a head on my 50th birthday celebrating with a friend at a restaurant. A guy who tried unsuccessfully to hit on my friend took out his frustration on me by groping me and saying things like "You're not as good-looking as your friend and you need to change." As he insulted and lunged at me, I shouted, "Get your hands off of me!" He snapped back and sarcastically says, "Poor, poor Janine, all alone on her 50th birthday!"
His relentless negative comments and physical assault triggered visions of my previous sexual traumas. I immediately recalled all of my previous wounds inflicted by others.
Would this ever stop? Will the pain ever go away?
The anger I felt scared me; I couldn't get a hold of my emotions or get rid of the terrifying feeling inside. Something had been set loose and I wasn't sure I could cage it again.
The pain I felt lasted for days until I saw a Facebook post by my friend's sister about the book The Four Agreements by the international and New York Times best-selling author don Miguel Ruiz. I recalled their mother highly recommending I read this book earlier. After reading the book, I felt inspired to fly to Chicago to attend the Celebrate Your Life conference so I could meet don Miguel. It was an uplifting, transformational experience for me, one which led to a number of synchronistic events that led me to HeatherAsh Amara, a shaman and healer who facilitated hundreds of workshops in the Toltec tradition and taught extensively with don Miguel. She is also author of the best-selling book Warrior Goddess Training, The Toltec Path of Transformation, and most recently release Warrior Goddess Way.
I began listening to HeatherAsh's radio program and felt compelled to join her year-long woman's apprenticeship program called 13 Moons Women's Circle. During this program, I felt safe for the very first time...safe enough to deal with my trauma experiences and process them by experiencing them as mine. I began to feel whole, powerful and divine...and I stopped looking outside of myself for answers.
I took responsibility for my life...and I began to heal. Suddenly the help I received from others made sense and I began my journey to heal within.
As a result of my own transformation, it became clear to me; I had to share what I knew in order to help other women who are struggling to heal from their own traumas.
I became certified as a life coach and expanded upon those skills for one single purpose...to help YOU heal!
Starved, ignored, beaten, raped, abused, tortured.
But guess what?
I'm still standing. And creating Heaven wherever I Am.
Now I'm passionately committed to helping women who are struggling with trauma from the past or in the present so they can overcome painful emotions and begin to feel empowered, connect with their truth and have a truly happy life.
I've helped hundreds of people make personal transformations, make heart-based decisions and reach goals they never thought possible as a result. It is my mission to inspire, guide and motivate you to your best life.
One more thing...
In the past 5 years, I've been amazed at the transformations within myself and throughout my life due to what I've learned and my commitment to my own growth. I truly have learned how to create heaven wherever I Am. I never would have thought this possible 6 years ago.
But I've learned...once you take that first step towards your healing, the next steps appear beneath your feet. And your life becomes a cascade of mystical, magical experiences all leading to...extraordinary, positive shifts in both your inner world and your outer life.