What is Trauma?

For many people, trauma becomes a way of life – it is how things have always been. For others, it’s a cycle that holds them hostage like a door to a washing machine. But, for everyone, in order to heal from trauma, you have to know what it is.

Think about it: How can you break away from something you don’t understand? How can you differentiate between such things as abuse and love if you can’t even see good from bad?

Trauma is tricky - and it is nearly impossible to see when you are in the midst of it. One of the only ways to stop it is by personally encountering a glimpse of hope, joy, and/or confidence. In fact, this tiny bit of empowerment is what gives you the boost of strength to fight through the trauma to reach the peaceful life that you so deserve. In other words, taking the first step can help you lead to more.

Trauma is your response.

Trauma is your response to a negative event. Trauma is not necessarily the horrible event itself – or even a series of events, but rather your reaction to them.

How are you handling the traumatic event?

How does it affect your life?

Are you able to continue through with your daily routine?

Have you had to change your normal routine in life due to unwanted feelings or behaviors resulting from a traumatic event?

Do you find yourself avoiding specific people or places?  

Sometimes, even when you think a negative event doesn’t affect you, it does. And, this can be incredibly dangerous.

A painted picture of trauma.

Trauma reveals itself in various forms. One’s picture of trauma can greatly differ from another’s. You are a unique individual with a special set of traits and characteristics all your own. Experiences that may hurt you or may be viewed as traumatic may differ from someone else’s experiences.

In all, however, trauma comes from a negative experience or event. These may include:

• Rape or molestation

• Sexual abuse

• Physical abuse

• Emotional abuse

• A natural disaster, such as a flood, tornado, or hurricane.

• An act of terrorism, both directly or indirectly.

• Domestic violence

• Dating violence

• Victim of a crime such as a burglary, mugging, shooting, assault

• Bullying

• A car accident or serious injury

Whether it is one small traumatic event or an entire series over a great length of time, your body’s reaction can leave you in a dark place void of joy. That is how powerful trauma is.

The many symptoms of trauma.

Trauma can leave you with symptoms that may include:

Physical symptoms:

• Fatigue

• Pale complexion

• Listlessness

• Lack of concentration

• Increased heart rate

Emotional symptoms:

• Anger

• Emotional outbursts

• Denial

• Sadness; void of happiness

• Inability to focus

• Lack of concern or care

Some even find themselves diagnosed with psychological disorders, such as Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depression, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). These are mental health disorders whose symptoms are commonly found with someone who has experienced a trauma.

It is important to remember that trauma is ugly – and it is painful. Being clinically diagnosed with a condition does not take away from your strength. In fact, it adds to it because you are facing your struggles and you are seeking a better life; a healthier, happier life.

Healing from trauma.

Healing from trauma is no easy feat. Luckily, you possess a great amount of power – didn’t you know? You can see yourself where you are and where you are going. You can recognize your trauma and let it go, replacing that pain and hurt with joy and love. You can transform your life and blossom into the person you always wanted to be.

Sure, it is going to be hard work. And, it is going to cause you to make some hard changes, but positive change is possible. You will have to learn to take responsibility for the trauma you experienced. Own it - then, grow from it.

How does that sound?

Perhaps you cannot see these things just yet. And maybe you think you never will. But, with the help and guidance of a certified life coach, you can.

If you are ready to take a step that will change your life – and help you find Heaven where ever you are standing, then it is time. Contact Janine Naus, your life coach that has been through the trauma and has transformed from it. She wants to help you live your best, joy-filled life.

Don’t you think it is time to let go? Click here to schedule your complimentary 30-minute Trauma Relief Strategy Session with me.

© 2018 Janine Naus

How To Build Faith

Society's programming taught us that you must see it to believe it. Building faith is easier than you think. Building faith means moving in the right direction. It allows you to push through effortlessly through any resistance, and with time it creates an unbreakable strength. You can practice faith to set the dynamic for manifesting your being into whom you wish to be. When you allow faith unseen, you expand your world into infinite opportunities.

Gratitude

One of the most powerful tools you have for building faith is gratitude. It grounds you and makes you savor the joy and happiness of life at that moment, which creates with time, more of that which you seek. You begin to feel yourself in a flow state with your personal growth and push through resistance with ease. With gratitude, your positive aspects of life continue to expand to what it is that you desire. How you feel is an important sign of whether you are following what you wish to manifest in your life.

Your Mind is Powerful

If you emotionally arrange yourself with your thoughts and your faith, you can manifest what you aspire from yourself. Keep in mind you may meet some resistance with what it is you truly want, but trust yourself. The spirit within you already knows what it is you want to do.

You find faith by reaching for that feeling. When everything is alive around you; that's faith. Faith builds up through your intuition, where you connect to the message of your God, Goddess, Spirit, Universe or personal higher power. We desire a connection to our self and our higher power. It is that connection that helps us to reach our highest potential. It is after you have achieved this feeling, and aligned with your higher power that you can manifest your desires into your life.

“Faith in its purest form is the absence of resistance even when there is no physical evidence present. It’s a knowing that the evidence defies.” ~Abraham Hicks

Vision of Yourself

Most people define what they do want, by describing what it is they do not desire. The result is you are not clear about your vision when you specify the negative. Take inspired action instead to think about what it is you specifically want to occur. You’ve come into this world to align yourself with whom you are. If you align yourself with your vision, it feels incredible, and you are full of energy. Conversely, if you do not align yourself with whom you are meant to be, it saps your energy and drains you. When you feel the faith of connection, it's real. You will feel the clarity and alignment. 

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“Faith in its purest form is the absence of resistance even when there is no physical evidence present. It’s a knowing that the evidence defies.” ~Abraham Hicks

© 2018 Janine Naus

What Is Intuition and How It Can Help You Heal From Trauma

As a culture, we learned to believe our rational minds take precedence when we need to decide on something. The decisions we need to make include things like what to eat for breakfast, lunch or dinner or when we are buying a home. But what about those moments when things don’t feel right? Those moments we have a gut feeling, an instinct, hunch or premonition about something? We all experience such feelings or intuition at times in our lives. It is a deep feeling that we carry inside. Sometimes we shrug off the feeling while other times we take steps.

What is intuition?

According to Sonia Choquette, “Intuition is an ability that we are born with; it comes from our non-verbal and intuitive right brain, and never goes away.  However, most of us suppress it over time and prefer to listen to the logical left brain.  The trick is learning how to interpret the information you receive.” This means it is something we have. It comes from our brain. It all comes from the logic and reasoning within us.

Intuition is difficult to explain, but easy to feel. It’s that “inner voice”, that little something, that gut feeling, and something instinctual coming from within you telling you how you feel beneath the logic layers. Intuition appears quickly in consciousness. It’s noticeable enough to make you act if you want to, but without being fully aware of the reasons for its occurrence. It also gives you the ability to know what you are dealing with directly without the need to bridge the gap between the unconscious and conscious parts of your mind. It arises without analytical reasoning or bridging the gap between instinct and reason. To keep it short and precise, it is your “Inner teacher.”

What does intuition mean for us?

Since intuition helps us to understand something instinctively, it means a lot to us, especially those who experienced or are experiencing trauma. In this case, intuition can be the best way to venture into your internal world, heart, aura, and soul and find a way to heal from the inside. It gives us the ability to enter our body and help us make decisions that suit our problems at that moment. Intuition is an incredibly powerful asset, if not misused. It's our key to a better decision-making future. It's more reliable than simply our mind. Intuition can lead us when we don’t have conscious reasoning.

Another thing that intuition can bring you is clarity and inspiration. It helps you identify when soothing is right or wrong. In other words, your intuition will inform you when something is not in alignment and give you the ability to align, clarify and bring inspiration to your life’s purpose.  So, if you feel empty, not the depressed empty, but unwary empty, if you don't hear your intuition or gut feeling like you used to, you need to initiate it. How do you succeed?

How to initiate intuition

As shared above, we all have the knowledge we carry inside us. This knowledge or intuition gives you the information and wisdom needed in life. To access this wisdom, you need to get in touch with your intuition. Now that you know what intuition is, and what it means to us as humans, it’s time to learn what you need to do to initiate your intuition.

The easiest way is to meditate. A daily meditation practice is the most effective way of becoming aware of your intuition. One thing meditation offers is clearing your space to help you reconnect with your inner self and initiate your gut feeling. If you feel like you don’t have the gut feeling and intuition, then meditation can help. Other things that you can do to initiate your intuition includes things like:

• Get moving: avoid sitting in one position for a long time. Get more oxygen. Take a walk or do something that will give your brain more oxygen. The results are rewarding.
  

• Asking your intuition questions: ask open-ended questions…a question answered by more than a yes or a no. Like Lynn A. Robinson, M.Ed., an expert on the topic of intuition says, "Spend your remaining time writing any and all answers that pop into your mind. Don't censor or judge the responses until you've completed the exercise."
  

• Allow yourself to daydream: daydreaming is a powerful intuitive tool. Allow your mind to wander to wherever it wants to go.
  

• Visualize: try to create an image in your mind. You may gain insight in your image that solves a problem. Sometimes, intuition doesn’t come to us with words but appears in visual images.

Since intuition can help you access your inner self and wealth of wisdom: you need to learn how you can get in touch with it. This way you can avoid making irrational decisions and make sure you are making more accurate and strong decisions.

How to become aware of your intuition

After you initiate your intuition, you need to become aware of it. You need to understand how it works.  You need to know when it works. Frustration could arise if you cannot explain what that gut feeling relates to. To understand your intuition, you need to let go of the frustration, relax and try the following:

• Step away from the current situation: By giving yourself some breathing space and stepping away you become aware of your intuition. Stand up, go somewhere to relax, or walk in nature. Whatever your mind tells you to do, now is the best time to do it.
  

• Be honest with yourself: It's easy to ignore your gut feeling and brush them off. Sometimes we may put the gut feeling away, and take an easier option because we don’t want to change direction. We are afraid of failure, or we don’t want to say no. Be honest with yourself. Acknowledge your unsettled feeling. Let your intuition guide you as you become aware of it. Just simply focus.
  

• Try writing a journal: Sometimes writing is a great way to become aware of your intuition. A journal allows you the space you need to release emotions, process your thoughts, work through issues and allows for greater understanding, knowledge, and self-discovery. Writing a journal helps you to become aware of your intuition.

Can your intuition help you create the life you want?

As you become more aware of your intuition, your life experiences start to unfold in front of you. As these experiences continue, it's time to take a deep breath, observe and discern your next step. If you want your emotions to lead your observation, then you need to follow through with inspired actions. Always avoid creating your reality with emotional acts.

For example, if someone angers you and you respond in anger, more anger will follow. It's reality with an emotional response. However, if you had just stopped and taken a deep breath, even for a moment, you will get the time to connect to your intuitive power inside you. This way you get into what feels right even if getting there means you have to take baby steps.

One important thing to pay attention to is the signs your intuition gives you. It doesn’t always tell you what you want to hear but if you focus it will tell you what you need to hear. For those experiencing trauma, paying attention is very helpful. Taking a deep breath and knowing how you are feeling once your intuitive signs are real provide you with insight. Coincidences become noticeable and you feel hunches for a perfect outcome. 

Another thing you need to consider is listening to your intuition. Pay attention to how you are feeling, allow yourself to feel your way through life and stay tuned with your feeling. It's the only way you can expand your life experiences. If something feels right, pay attention to it. Your intuition may guide you to something you never dreamed of, and you will be more confident when it comes to decision-making and following your hunches.

Always remember when dealing with intuition, you continue to consider your rational mind and reason things out. Intuition and your ability to reason complement each other. Balance is also important. Balance your gut feeling and your reasoning ability knowing that your feelings are important, especially during decision making. Reasoning can guide you through your intuition. They go hand in hand. When your intuition is in alignment with your desired result, you can set your intentions and feel them in a vibratory nature. They allow things to flow into your reality.

How intuition can help you make powerful, measured and authentic decisions that are true to you, and in alignment with your heart

Today we rapidly gain new experiences every day. Technology, our busy schedule, trauma and everything that goes on in our day-to-day life add new experiences. The good thing about experiences is that they give you an opportunity to become an expanded version of your true self. Intuition allows you to understand your inner self, the divine connection that helps you navigate through life.

To make powerful, measured and authentic decisions take the time to feel grounded and centered, become more aware of the signs and messages you are getting and choose your intuition consciously. Balance your intuition and the rational part of you. Set intentions and remain open to your trust and intuition. When you do these things, your highest good comes into your being. As Comedian Michael Jr. puts it, “When you know your ‘why’, your ‘what’ becomes more impactful because you’re walking towards or in your purpose.”

Trust your Intuition

Think of your trust as a camera. You can take a clear picture of your Intuition by adding more light, which means developing and understanding your intuition. You can also turn ordinary images into extraordinary ones by listening to your intuition. The result is better decisions. Trust what you want from life and from your intuition.  Trust your intuition to come to you. These are the best ways to leverage your power. Listen and understand your intuition.

www.janinenaus.com

If you would like to find out more about intuition and how it can help heal trauma… Click here to schedule your complimentary 30-minute Trauma Relief Strategy Session with me.

© 2018 Janine Naus

Dig Deep Into Your Mind For Positive Experiences

Our mind is what tells our body what to do. When our mind moves, our body moves. In fact, what is in our mind can be exhibited outwardly by our body. For example, when you are sad, your shoulders may slump and you may move more slowly.

Did you know that this great mind of ours is split into two parts? It sure is – the conscious mind and the subconscious mind. Think of it as if there is an invisible line separating your mind into these two parts. Each part has its own characteristics.

Our conscious mind allows us to think freely and create new ideas.  It is simply trying to make sense of our experiences.  It encompasses all our senses, such as touch, taste, sight, sound, and smell. We can physically experience these things. These senses send the information to our conscious mind and we can make decisions, choices, and evaluations based on what we encounter.

But what about the things that aren’t tangible? That is where our subconscious comes in to play. It is full of all our beliefs and memories to include unconscious (repressed) thoughts such as irrational thoughts, feelings, emotions, fears, etc. that we have accumulated over our lifetime. You may find yourself on the road to a peaceful place in your life now, but every negative, hurtful, abusive, mean, fear-driven experience you have had in your entire lifetime can disrupt that peace – and it all comes from that subconscious mind of yours.

Think of it this way:

You are finally at a place in your life that you can take some classes to get that nursing degree you have always wanted. You go to your local college, you meet with an advisor, you sign up for classes, you pay your tuition, then proceed to the bookstore to get the necessary materials for your classes.

Consciously you know you can handle them and you are ready. You know your previous studies and how well you did. You have discussed everything with your advisor and you have prepared the way to move forward. But then, right there in the middle of the bookstore, you begin to have a feeling of doom and you are bombarded with questions like, “What makes you think you can handle this?” or “You know you won’t succeed at this program so why are you wasting everyone’s time?” And, of course, “You are not cut out to be a nurse.”

That is your subconscious mind piping up and giving you its two cents, as if you asked for it, right? And its feelings are all based on your lifetime of experiences – like that time when your ex told you that you worked at the local grocery store because you could never do anything better. Or that time in school when you didn’t understand the assignment and the professor made an example out of you in front of the class. Or maybe it is the years of being put down by your mother when you were growing up – you never did feel “good enough.”

Everything that you have experienced in life has been soaked up by your subconscious and has led you to react the way that you do. See, your conscious mind can kick back the info it doesn’t want. But your subconscious isn’t that nifty. It is like a sponge – and it fills itself with the good, the bad, and the ugly.

That, my friend, is why it is so important to dig deep into your mind and clear out all that negativity and repair all that damage. The best way to start this process is to become aware of how you react in each situation. Let’s visit the four conscious perceptions that can get you focused on how you react -- both internally and externally.

Perceptions: Step outside yourself to learn how you perceive a situation. Be objective, rather than subjective, and ask yourself, “How do I perceive this situation?” This can allow you to analyze your feelings to discover why you may perceive a situation one way instead of another.

Assumptions: You will make assumptions in every situation. And, believe it or not, in each of these situations, the assumptions will change depending on circumstances, who is present, etc. We have reasons as to why we assume and, since our life has been different than the next person, their assumptions will be different, too. Be aware of the assumptions you make.

Expectations: Our expectations of something or someone are usually based on desire or fear. When we think positively of someone, it likely stems from desire (and often we tend to overlook any negative traits because the desire is so great). If we think negatively, it is likely stemming from fear.

Feelings: Yes, we give our feelings a name, but our body, its language, and its vibrations can send vibes to those around us – giving up our current feeling or emotion, without us even having to say it. Know your body.

It is important to be aware in each situation and how your mind acts and reacts. If you are having good thoughts, but not getting good results, then you will want to look deeper into your subconscious mind to see what is going on.

Remember, your conscious and your subconscious do not necessarily work in sync – and your subconscious has been programmed automatically for you. When you begin to align your conscious and subconscious thoughts your life flows and you manifest what you desire. 

You can shift your experiences through focused intention of your conscious mind.  Choose to refrain from trying to make sense of it all and simply be open to receive positive energy deep within your subconscious mind then healing can occur.  The more you increase your awareness of this, the easier it will be to obtain the results you are looking for.

www.janinenaus.com

If you’d like to talk further about shifting your life toward positive experiences… Click here to schedule your complimentary 30-minute Trauma Relief Strategy Session with me.

The Magic Of Shielding…

“Wow!  I didn’t expect this place to be so crowded.”  My longtime friend Naya and I were leaning near the bar, she in her high top leather boots, leggings, and faux fur vest and I in my new black pants with textured top.  She handed me a glass of champagne and raised hers with a sheepish smile, “Happy 50th!”

As she left to find the bartender to get another round I heard a voice above the noise of the bar. "Look at that chick, is she hot or what?  Check out that body!”  I then hear a female voice say, “Forget about it she has got a ring on her finger.”  “I don’t care what she has on her finger, [calmly].”  He shouts back, “I’m going for it.”

So I turned to get a look at this jerk and spotted a man with high and tight brown hair and a plaid flannel shirt and realized it was Naya he was talking about.  As soon as she returned with our drinks he made a beeline for her and introduced himself.  She replied, “Hi my name is Naya and this is my friend Janine.  We are celebrating her 50th birthday.”

“Oh, yeah, then lets celebrate!  I’ll get us some shots!”  So he ordered three peach schnapps shots, we drank them and he continued to hit on her.  He turned his back to me and when I saw the expression on Naya’s face, I decided I had to do something.  I wanted to stop this guy from hurting either one of us.  And then I stepped between them and said, “Why don't you back off, can't you see she is not interested?

“What’s your problem?”  He added,  “Why don’t you back off?  You are such a…” I don’t need to finish that statement.

I was so shocked by what he said I couldn’t utter a word.  It brought up all these feelings that echoed back to a time in my life when I was emotionally, physically and sexually abused.  I felt helpless and powerless so all I could do was turn and walk away with my head hanging and look for a chair to sit down on.  Naya immediately turned her back on him and came over to see if I was okay.  But by then it was too late.  My birthday had been ruined.  I went home devastated.  And I was reeling from this for days afterwards.

One day I discovered an online radio program by HeatherAsh Amara, author of several books including her best-selling book Warrior Goddess Training:  Become the Woman You Are Meant to Be.  I responded to so many things she was saying, such as how to get your power back, that I signed up for her yearlong women’s program.  Then I realized in the course of her training that so much of the pain I experienced was because I was afraid of ever standing up for myself.

Then she taught a technique that I have been using ever since in situations like the one on my 50th birthday. It's an openhearted practice called shielding.  It helps you during times when you are surrounded by people’s negative or low energies.

We are all energy beings.  And we can use energy to help us stay connected to our heart center.

Surrounding our bodies is an ever-present outer layer of our energetic field...an aura of etheric energy that interacts with our mind, body and spirit.  It surrounds, penetrates and expands beyond our bodies.

We have the ability to project our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual etheric energy onto other people.  For example, someone sexually attracted to another can project their energetic body on to that person without touching them physically.  A similar projection can occur on a mental level.  Our thoughts, whether we do this consciously or unconsciously, can affect other people.  On an emotional level, another person can feel our negative or positive emotions.  And finally, on a spiritual level we can consciously or unconsciously visit another Soul body.

So just as there is inappropriate physical touching, there can be inappropriate energetic touching.  If someone expresses negative emotions; such as anger, neediness, or other unhealthy emotions, those energetic emotions project into our fields.

Although shielding does not remove negativity by others it does give us breathing space from negativity so we can connect with them from our hearts.  Our breath is a powerful tool to help us keep our energy field clear and balanced.  It helps our mind and thoughts stay clear of negative energies so we can stay fully present.  The result is we are better able to take responsibility for what we are experiencing and choose inspired actions for next steps.

Shielding is a simple practice.  In a quiet space settle into a comfortable position sitting down with arms and legs uncrossed.  Feel your feet on the ground and anchor yourself where you are physically.  Take a couple slow and deep breaths.  Breathe in and with your intent, consciously connect with your heart center to gather and intensify the energy surrounding that area.

With each exhalation picture compassionate and loving green energy flow from your heart center and surround your entire body.  Draw on your imagination with full awareness of the energy field around your body.  Imagine this field expanding 18 to 36 inches outward.

You can picture an egg-shaped bubble of energy surrounding you allowing for positive energies to flow freely in and out of the egg.  When negative energies approach, imagine your shield deflecting and flowing these energies toward the earth to become grounded.  Imagine the outer edges of this bubble at least a half inch thick…this is your shield.

By practicing shielding you strengthen your shield so you can be more yourself, coming from the core of your being, which is love, instead of reacting unconsciously.  You re-establish conscious connection to your energetic field and its perimeter that links it to the spiritual world.

This may sound far-fetched but it made a huge difference in my life.  It took some practice but eventually I was able to use this technique to keep things from affecting me deeply and negatively.  Even when memories of when my previous traumas arose I was still able to function instead of being devastated or withdrawn all of the time.

Just a few months later I had an opportunity to put the shielding technique to good use.  My boss West had a reputation of blowing up at his employees.  There were times that I could see the veins in his neck bulging when he laid in to me.

One day I approached him about needing more support to do the job I was hired to do. But his only response was to ask me to meet with him and his boss Whit.  But unlike at my 50th birthday party, now I knew how to prepare for this encounter by strengthening this shield around me before I went into the meeting.

When they began talking, West pretended to be nice and under the pretense of doing me a favor said, “I recall you mentioning you would like to be in another job, so I have this opportunity for you. I'd like to put you in an entirely new position.” Even though I was shocked this time I didn't have to withdraw in silence. "I never told you I wanted a new job, but I do recall asking many times for your support in the job I already got."

This time it was my boss's turn to go silent, because by taking control of the situation, I took away his power to manipulate me.

“Do I have a choice about this, because the job I have is the job I wanted as long as I have support?"  And West started tripping over his words mumbling and all he could respond was, “Well of course you have a choice and if you need some support I’d be glad to give that.”  And I said, “I want to stay right where I am.”  And as soon as I said that his boss got up and left the meeting, realizing there was nothing more to be discussed.

This technique isn't just for dealing with jerks at bars or obnoxious bosses. I sometimes use this whenever I have to give a speech, or when I deal with a pushy sales person, or when I react to a situation versus respond.  So, re-connecting with your energetic field helps open you up so you can be who you are, your authentic self, rather than closing down in difficult situations.  You can come from your heart to respond to a situation rather than react.  If you practice this technique daily, you strengthen your connection to your heart center and empower yourself.  The result is you will live a more balanced and fulfilling life full of joy and happiness.

www.janinenaus.com

Do you want to talk further about shielding? Click here to schedule your complimentary 30-minute Trauma Relief Strategy Session with me.

Trust Me On This One...

Trust and trauma

We know how important trust is to build and nurture important relationships. But for survivors of trauma, it’s even more challenging, because usually, someone in our life has broken that trust by betraying or hurting us.

And it’s not only trusting those around us that proves to be difficult, it’s also learning to trust ourselves and put faith in our ability to make the right decisions. We find that we blame ourselves and set borders and boundaries if others violate our trust.

Trust you…

Put simply, our lack of trust is a coping strategy that manifests, and as a result we choose not to rely or trust anyone; we feel terrified that something is at risk with such a connection.

Learning to trust ourselves is a crucial step to start healing and to create heaven in our lives. But guess what? We can learn to trust again. How do I know? Because I’ve been there. I am a survivor of trauma with trust issues.

Once trust is broken, can you get it back? YES! For those who have been victims of trauma, you will likely think that you cannot rely on anyone but yourself – and even that is questionable. After all, trust, as you know it, has been shredded to pieces, stomped on, and thrown into a fire. So why in the world would you want to trust the next person that comes along? Or the person in the mirror?

Our minds are strong and they work to protect us. They will put up walls, borders, and blare train horns to keep us from trusting when we have been so broken in the past. It is a coping strategy designed by our complex body. We may not even realize we are doing it.

We may even overgeneralize others, lumping every potential relationship into the role of someone to be untrusted for one particular reason or another. Meanwhile the entire time – it is you that you cannot trust. Maybe you think that you can’t trust yourself to make a good decision. Or, maybe you feel that if you let yourself open up to trusting someone, you will be harmed again and it will be your fault.

So, let’s start tearing down that wall, shall we?

Teal Swan’s video on TRUST (What is Trust and How to Build Trust in Relationships) defines trust as: “I can rely on you to capitalize on my self-interests.” No, that doesn’t mean that you are relinquishing control of yourself for someone else’s benefit. And no, as Teal Swan says, it does not mean that you are asking for the other party in the relationship to look out for your self-interests more than their own.

Before you can successfully build trust in a relationship, you need to have the answers to the following because, if you don’t know, then your partner surely can’t know:

1.    Define what it is that you really want and really need

2.    Define what your best interests are

3.    From this list to determine what is really true for you

4.    Create opportunities to practice what is true for you

When you are in a relationship, you become together with other as “oneness.” This means that not only are you to look out for your own best interest, but for the best interest for your partner, as well. You cannot hurt the other person without hurting yourself. This is how you discover a win-win situation. The broken trust comes when the self-interest of the other party is not honored.

Speaking of trust in relationships, your heart and mind are in a relationship with one another. Many times, one does not understand the action or reaction of the other one. The mind could be in fear and tell you to run, while your heart begins to break. Or your heart can be full of love and your mind is telling you, “no, this is not a good idea!” It is up to you to find the balance between the two so that they may complement each other, rather than fall apart. Looking out for the best interest of each is how you develop intimacy in your relationship between your heart and mind. 

Practice makes everything better. When you were learning to ride a bicycle, and fell, you didn’t just get up and run back in the house, did you? No! You likely – with some persuasion -- got back on the bike, skinned knees and all, and tried again. Trust is the same way. You don’t just run away from it because you had it and it was broken. No! You dust yourself off and try again. Maybe you need some of that childhood persuasion to do so.

Ready to take the challenge?

If so, you are your own biggest fan – or you should be. And, if you aren’t, perhaps you may find it helpful to take a look at the 7 Day Self-Trust Challenge. Shawn Phelps teaches us how to trust ourselves again. Remember, if we cannot trust ourselves, we cannot trust others. In her challenge, she asks that you pick a goal and trust yourself to do it for 7 days. Phelps insists that this be something you want to do, not something difficult. For example, give yourself permission to watch one episode of your favorite TV show every night. Keep track of your progress and decide on a reward for yourself once completed.

When you learn to trust yourself, the hardest part is over. You can do it.

www,janinenaus.com

If you’d like to talk more about how to build trust in your Click here to schedule your complimentary 30-minute Trauma Relief Strategy Session with me.

© 2017 Janine Naus

Feel the Fear...

Today we take a close look at the feeling of fear.  We all experience it, but we don't often address or talk about it.  Why?  Because it makes us dread something we may (or may not!) experience in the future.  Too often, we are frozen and hold our fears as if it's happening right here, right now.  Fear makes us anxious, upset and concerned; and it is one of the most common barriers to creating heaven...

Let's dig a bit deeper into the these four questions:

Have I surrendered?

What does it mean to surrender? To surrender means to give up control to an authority. In regard to fear, surrendering would mean that you have given in to the fear. You have kicked through your walls that have made you worry and panic.

Have I surrendered enough?

How do you know if you have surrendered enough? Can you picture yourself waving the white flag at fear? Surrendering enough means that you will no longer find yourself getting anxious, upset, or worried over a fear. Enough means that you acknowledged your fear and let it go -- because you now know that it is not real. It is just a tiny part of who you are -- it is not the whole package.

When you are able to find comfort in the face of fear, then you know you have surrendered enough.

Is there any other way I can transform my fear?

You always have the power to transform your fear. You are in control. You can let it grip you and hold you hostage in a moment or you can face it and know that it is just a feeling -- it is not reality. Fears are the "what ifs" that we have been taught through the experiences in our life. We are expecting something terrible to happen when it may actually never happen.

If you don’t think it, then you will never have to fear it.

Are you coming from love, or coming from Fear?

How do you react to certain situations? When faced with a situation that encompass a fear that is a part of you, how you react will determine if you are coming from love or fear.

Coming from fear means that you will find yourself getting worked up. Your adrenaline increases and you are faced with a fight or flight scenario. Your may get anxious, you may panic, you may start to feel as if you have been completely consumed by your fear.

However, if you are coming from love, you will smile as you notice the fear. You accept that it is a part of you. But, because you have surrendered control, you know that it is there, but you aren't afraid. You embrace your fear. You have found peace in overcoming your fear.

Fear is not something we are born with -- it is something we are taught. It is a learned behavior that makes us who we are. We can either choose to accept it and live or we can choose to succumb to its misery. The choice is yours!

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." ~ Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"

Do you want to talk further about fear and your feelings? Click here to schedule your complimentary 30-minute Trauma Relief Strategy Session with me.

© 2017 Janine Naus

A Soul Reunion

It was a dark night.  I sat under the stars gazing into the night sky.  I saw a shooting star and thought to myself, "Could that be me flying across the sky?"  I sat with that thought and imagined that star propelling through the sky.  "Could it be me?"  I asked again.  The answer came to me and it was a resounding, "Yes!" 

We choose the path we take.  We choose the trajectory of our lives.  And sometimes our life is as amazing as a shooting star.  Life comes at you fast with all sorts of experiences.  It is in our ability to stand up and move forward that allows for the trajectory to Being.

I am on a trajectory now.  Life is coming at me faster than I can imagine.  It is all good as I am never alone on this journey.  I am always safe.  All intents and purposes to be addressed.  Flow with life.  Flow like a shooting star.  See yourself as an amazing star rising in the sky and painting a beautiful picture along the landscape of the Universe.

It may seem beyond reach but it has always been within reach.  It has always been about the journey within.  Tap into that immense, infinite heart you have and let it paint the sky.  Have no fear.  Break out from your fears and see the beauty that abounds you.  Your heart will reach many hearts.  Your beauty will glow and that glow will light up many dark skies.

Take stock in what you do have to offer no matter how large or small.  These are gifts to share.  They offer insight to the hearts and minds of others.  Be one with all as there is no separation.  Separation comes from fearful thoughts the mind conjures.  You can always return to Oneness the moment you choose.  It is always there for all of YOU to see.

See the immense beauty in all creation.  Savor the moments that often come by without notice. They come and they go but it is often in those moments the greatest lessons come to you.  Breath those moments in, bless them and set them free.  Enjoy the gifts a moment brings.

This is where joy comes...from seeing the immense beauty, such as the stars shining in the night sky.  They flicker and seem to always be present but all things change and so will all things in life.  Nothing ever stays the same as everything here on earth is but an experience.  All of life and everything here on earth is a dream born into experiences.  Enjoy the ride.  See it for the beauty it brings.  Sometimes the ride may be bumpy and sometimes it is a smooth sail.  It is all an experience that comes and goes.  It's the beauty about creating and experiencing.  How would one know the true beauty of something without having the experience of some darkness?  There is no place else for the soul to experience such.  So honor your soul's desire to experience, as it is truly you in all Oneness.  See that, feel that, hear that, touch that, be that and know your senses go beyond all that.

Mark today as a new start, a new beginning into a journey of a lifetime.  There is so much to experience and so much you will share with the world.  Breath into that...moment by moment.  Choose to savor those moments.  See the life you have chosen as Soul as it is already manifested in the Mind's Eye.  Breathe into that.  Savor those moments.  See the beauty that leaps across the night sky.

Mirror the life your Soul wants to express.  Seek its guidance...on what your Soul desires and ask for our support to carry that out.  You already have it now, step into it.  We've been waiting.  Your heart calls out to you.  Fears cast aside as the immense infinite Universe opens for that star to shine.  You've stepped into the trajectory of your life, our life, as One.  Beloved you are love.  You are the life experienced.  You are the gift of Soul.  You are the Soul of all creation.  Share it.  Be it.  Experience it.

It's been with you all along.  Your stories are many.  Your experiences are the gifts.  Share it.  Show how they opened your eyes to the immense beauty one can experience in the moment.  Share it.  Write all about it.

I wrote this blog post in a 30-minute writing exercise where I simply let the words flow from the keyboard onto a blank Microsoft Word document.  Since that experience I Am stepping into my writing flow.  You can step into your flow too (whatever you desire that to be)..

Please check out my first book: 
Creating Heaven Wherever I Am:  Pain To Paradise, Traumatic Experiences Giving Way To The Values & Love Within.

In this book, I will guide you on a journey of exploration. You’re here because you are ready for change, and ready to work through your experience with trauma. There’s a seed within you that touched your heart. You are now ready to move forward from your traumatic experiences.

Do you want to talk further about fear and your feelings? Click here to schedule your complimentary 30-minute Trauma Relief Strategy Session with me.

© 2017 Janine Naus