Do you ever find yourself feeling disrespected? Do those around you ever put down our opinions and ignore or refuse your requests? I’ve been there. And I know it left me feeling ignored, undervalued and unappreciated. In order for us to respond and make real change, we must consider the boundaries we set for others and ourselves.
As children we quickly learn the fact of life that people are not nice sometimes and that they can take advantage of others. This is where setting boundaries is crucial to keep relationships healthy, fair and authentic.
What are Boundaries?
Boundaries are often discussed in a negative way, but in fact, they are quite often the solution to negative feelings or situations. You do not need to justify, apologize for, nor explain boundaries you choose to set. And when setting them, be calm, be clear, be certain, be courteous, be you.
Boundaries can define who we are, and allow us to ask for what we need. It gives us the confidence to say ‘No’ without feelings of guilt. So consider starting to act according to your own values and beliefs, and not that of others.
How to set good boundaries
When we consider the power of boundaries in our lives, we realize that boundaries give us responsibility to be truly happy, and feel responsible for the happiness of those around us. When boundaries are set, you are in touch with your own feelings, and not the holder of the feelings of others. And finally, boundaries are guidelines for you to know what is, and what is not acceptable to you.
Here are three top tips to setting good boundaries:
Tip One: Increase your Self-Care.
We can all do more to take better care of ourselves. By practicing self-care more often, you will become a stronger support to those around you, particularly in times of sadness or distress. There’s more on self-care in a previous blog post.
Tip Two: Build a web of resources.
We’re not all experts on everything. So find others out there. Whether you’re joining support groups, counselling or meeting likeminded people at events or classes.
Tip Three: Focus on choosing responsibilities
It’s a fact that you can’t do it all. So decide what you will and won’t be responsible for. And when you take on a challenge, give yourself a time limit and protect the time, which you’ve put aside for your wellbeing.
Want to learn more?
Get your respect back today and try setting some good boundaries. If you’d like to talk through boundary setting with me, then please book your free healing discovery session with me today.